Soggy Biscuit

Gordon Brown was said to be "dissapointed" that he came second in the 'soggy biscuit' competition organised by Mumsnet.com

The competition is organised by the No.1 'MILF' website favoured by politicians. It features famous politions from all partys, wanking furiously over a Rich Tea biscuit. The 'loser' is the last man to 'finish'. He is then tasked with eating the soggy biscuit whilst the whole competition is 'streamed' live by webcam on the site.

"It was obvious right from the off that David seemed so much more eager than Gordon" said Mrs Mary Hinge from Battersea

Mrs Norma Snockers added "The Prime Minister seemed to dither and fumble about, it was almost as though he'd resigned himself to the fact that he was going to lose"

Betty Swanny, a single mother from Woking said " David gets my vote every time". I told him in a chat room afterwards that if he's ever electioneering round here to pop in for some hot buttered muffin.

(pictured: Mary Hinge, Norma Snockers and Betty Swanney and there soggy biscuits!)

David Cameron, leader of the opposition said after the competition "What this country needs is a firm hand and the Pime Minister has shown himself to be incapable of even the simplest of tasks as 'cracking one off''. I hope this Conservative victory sticks in his throat!

Mumsnet is said to be screening another 'soggy biscuit spectacular' next week with the Miliband brothers and a packet of chocolate hob-nobs!