A Socialist Bank

A Socialist Bank?


It's Official - We now own 84% of The Royal Bank of Scotland, which has got to be one 'up the bum' for Gordon Brown and two fingers to the tartan wearing sporran strikers - hurrah!

A Nationalised Bank! Based in Scotland. What a good idea!

We take the risk so does this mean we get the profit?

Does this mean I can walk into any branch and say "I'm here to make a withdrawal", without my 'sorn-off' and my sisters tights on my head?

Hmm, as opposed to we take the risk and someone else takes the profit, Or does this mean 'the country' takes the profitit, wait a minute ... It could catch on...

Why stop with one bank, why not all of them. We know there's plenty of money to be made, that’s why there's so many Cockney Bankers at it. (Yes, I said Bankers, not wan..)

We could become as rich as the oil producing Arab states!!!

We won't have to listen to that boring twat, Mervin King bleating on about "not returning to Boom and Bust days" and doing exactly f*ck all about it.

And while we’re at it, why stop there?

Why not 'Nationalised Drug Dealing Clinics'?

Again, currently, we take the risks and mop up the fall out and criminality caused by habitual drug taking! Then someone else takes all the profit!

Why don't WE take the profit? All the government has do to is a bit of (ahem) drug re-classification and get a few Scientists on board to back up our argument.... Doh, okay, okay, we can re-work this.... And get rid of Alan Johnson (its sounding better and better!) and then we start selling drugs to the masses (who after all, are already using them) and use the MASSIVE profits to fund a 'state of the art' Heath Service!!

And seeming as we'll be Al Qaeda and the Taliban’s best customer, buying up all the produce of the Opium Poppy Fields in Afghanistan -- No More WAR!

Oh my God, I have seen the light... It's all so clear now, yes, yes, it might just work. I’m going for a lie down now..

I haven't felt like this since my Mum & Dad bought me one of the first Sony Walkman cassette players and John Lennon’s' 'Imagine' album one Christmas when I was 14!

It's been emotional...