Go screw yourselves say Goldman Sachs

Goldman Sachs are coming to a bank near you!

Bosses of Goldman Sachs who have recently payed themselves bonuses of $15 million announced today that they were coming to the UK to cash bonus checks.

A spokesperson for Goldman Sachs explained "We want to stand at the front of the queue and present our rather large cheques to the cashier during peak trading periods."

"We want to see the cashier's bulging eyes as they try to comprehend just how many zeros are in front of them!"

"And when they ask how we would like that, we would like to say 'in twenties, tens and fives please!"

He went on to say with a smug grin on his face "When they say that "It may take a while to do that"' as they eye the large crowd in a que behind me I'll simply turn to them and announce "Not to worry, I can wait, I have my bank statement to look over and the end of year report of Goldman Sachs trading profits."

Meanwhile President Obama and Prime Minister Gordon Brown issued a joint statement calling for an end to banks bonus culture

Goldman Sachs chief executive is said to have replied "Tell them to go screw themselves, what do they think about that? What are they going to do about it if we don't stop. I earn more than then put together. If they want me they can contact me on my yacht. Schmucks!"

The story continues ...