BattleCry (Hepatitis C / Liver Transplant & Biopsy (Hep C) HCV Blog)

Thursday 4 August 2011

So here it is, the night before the day to come. The day that I have been longing for and dreading at the same time.

Tomorrow morning I report back to St Jimmy's to start my treatment for Hepatitis C, the bloody virus that has taken so much from me. I feel like I've waited so long for this day to come and yet now that it's here I'd be bloody lying if I didn't admit that I'm terrified.

Not of the fight, I'm ready for that, I'm up for it. I've been dying to pick a fight with this fucker for ages. Smack it straight in the face and shout "How do you like that you fucker? Well come back here and have some more!" and then smack it again and again and keep on smacking it and kicking it and anything else I can do to the bastard to hurt it. Until it drops down dead in front of me and even then I'll keep jumping up and down on it 'till I'm panting so bloody hard that I've got to stop. And before I walk away from it I'll kick the fucker again for good luck.

Not the pain, I'm even ready for that too. And in some ways I feel I need to feel pain to justify the enormous battle I'm fighting. I'm ready to feel my bloodied knuckles stinging and the rips and cuts of my bleeding body from the teeth and claws of this bloody thing I'm fighting.

And I'm ready for this long war of attrition. The week after relentless week of going back and fighting it again and again and again. 48 weeks of sticking myself with needles and gorging on pills and no matter how many loved ones are there for me, it will only be me who presses the needle into my skin and pushes down on the plunger. It will be a lonely battle but I'm ready for that too.

But it's the thought of defeat. That if, at the end of all the fighting and all of the pain that it might not be enough and I may need to crawl away to lick my wounds before I can return to fight another day. I'm aware I'm the underdog, that the odds are against me, but I need to finish this now, once and for all.

I don't want this life anymore. I don't even want my old life back. I want a shiny new one please, with a winners Challis to prove it.

And I'm coming to get it you fucker, I'm coming to get what's mine!

3 comments:

Fiona 5 August 2011 at 12:34  

"It will be a lonely battle"

Absolutely no need for you to feel alone during this. Come back to Nomads and you will be in company with people supporting you, understanding what you are going through, and wishing you success in your slaying. Also you will be following in the footsteps of a Nomad who has survived a transplant and has completed post transplant Hep C treatment. You're not a trail blazer, and you are so not alone. The network of support is there.
Good luck Ian

dreamingofseas365 5 August 2011 at 19:23  

I hope you slay that Fucker an be rid of it once and for all!!!!
I wish you the best and hope as you go through the treatment you keep your eye on the shiney winners Challis at the end of this road......

Anonymous,  8 August 2011 at 12:40  

Very Best of Luck Ian...break your tx down into little segments right now all you're aiming for is that First PCR, then the next, then the half way point, then single figures. Just take each day as it comes don't, sleep when you need to, don't suffer, speak to others, take pain-killers, take anti-ds, take whatever it takes to get through. Oh and spoil yourself a little every now and again you're worth it.

Noo go stick the heid oan it

Ina x

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What Is Hepatitis C?

Hepatitis C Information:

Hepatits C is a blood-borne viral disease which can cause liver inflamation, fibrosis, cirrhosis and liver cancer. The Hepatitis C virus (HCV) is spread by blood-to-blood contact with infected person's blood. Many people with HCV infection have no symptoms and are unaware of the need to seek treatment. Hepatitis C infects an estimated 150-200 million people worldwide. It is the leading cause of liver Transplant...

Hepatitis C is an inflamation of the liver caused by infection with the Hepatitis C virus is one of the five known hepatitis viruses: A, B, C, D & E. Hepatitis C was previousley known as non-A non-B hepatitis prior to isolation of the virus in 1989.

Symptoms of Acute Hepatitis C:

Acute Hepatitis C refers to first 6 months after infection with HCV. Remarkably, 60% - 70% of people develop no symptoms during the acute phase. In the minority of patients who experience acute phase symptoms, thet are generally mild and non-specific, and rarely lead to specific diagnoses of Hepatitis C. Symptoms of acute hepatitis C include decreased appetite, fatigue, abdominal pain, jaundice, itching and flu-like symptoms.

Symptoms of Chronic Hepatitis C:

Chronic Hepatitis C is defined as infection with the Hepatitis C virus persisting for more than six months. The course of chronic hepatitis C varies considerably from one person to another. Virtually all people infected with HCV have evidence of inflamation on liver biopsy however, the rate of progression of liver scarring (fibrosis) shows significant inter-individual variability.

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