Sir Alan Sugar is to begin a new search for an Apprentice to help him rein-act the ‘Four Yorkshiremen’ sketch
“Who’d of thought I’d get where I am today, I started with nowt y’know!”
This was following his rant about British small businesses being crap and no-one else in business today is anywhere near as good as he is.
He is then expected to recount the stories of how he made it to the top including:
“I started off selling cheap crap home computers until I brought a deluxe colour model out that didn’t actually facking work, shouldn’t have bought those hard drives from that paddy down the pub! Still, I made a facking killing on them though”
He will continue “Then I started selling crap stereos that looked fancy but only had a cheap Taiwanese tranny radio inside. Made a facking fortune on them!”
He added “In actual fact I’ve made a fortune selling cheap tat to the British public so it was only right that I got asked to advise Gordon Brown and Peter Mandleson on business issues.
Mandleson added “advisor, you wer lucky!”
If only every British Small Business could make a fortune by forgetting their morals and becoming a jumped little tit like Sir Alan, then maybe british banks would be more willing to lend too them.
Sir Alan, entrepreneurs salute you - COCK!
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